Bits n bobs

Just let me self medicate this fucked up head.
I'm done spending days and days in bed.
All I was is a little go, a sky castle, angel wings 

I may not be smart but I do have some heart. My back is fucked and my brain is wack. Stop trying to add me to the rest of the stack. You don't know me and either do I.
Stop trying to put labels on this mystery guy. The irony is right there but hey I don't care because I'm a material girl who has come to fuck up this world.
No not with hate, malice or crime but with my lyrical knives blinding you like icarus too the dive. 

Stigma

I want to change the stigma around sadness, mental health and the way we perceive the culture around needing help. I want to live in a world where it's ok to not feel ok and there are positive methods to empower people to come forth and help them selves. Pushing for this is something very close to me because for years I've sighlently struggled my own plight. I'm sick of being happy all the time and tired of feeling bad for letting my self experience mystery. Life is about depth and feeling a gamma of emotions far beyond the ones we think we need. 

Why is sadness the best motivation to create. I want to be happy and paint.

I'm too depressed to paint or create.
My phone notes are full of stupid little depression confessions. 

I'm not yet proud of who I am.
But I'm hopeful for the day I am. 

Anx

I'm sitting before work. Shaking with anxiety. There's so much in my life up in the air it's hard to feel grounded. Every day I wake up and forget something but remember other things. Fleeting thoughts escape my brain. Some I didn't need, some i don't want but the thing I'm scared about most is are the things I can't remember I need. 

Just nod if you can hear me. Are you safe out there - lloyd