Mushie trip
26/10/14
I went to a party last night and I had 2 mushroom caps. The come up was really fast because I double dunked. About an hour into the trip I wasn't having a good time. I vomited but I think that's because I don't normally drink alcohol. Lloyd saw I was not going well so he took us down to a park/ meadow. On the walk there I felt like a steam roller was driving over my body and I was being flattened out, which is a very very strange feeling. I could not talk of my own will withi funny thoughts popping into my head and mumbling to my self. When we got to the park I collapsed and sunk into the deepest trip I have ever been in. Compared to this having 2 tabs or my other mushy experiences were like smoking pot. My visuals were so vivid and crisp there was no doubt my body remained where it lay while my mind/spirit was wondering around.
I saw my friends sitting a few meters away from me. I walked over and sat down and tried talking to liz but she could not hear me. I started to get frustrated because it was like a sick joke how they were ignoring me. People would look over at me but not acknowledge me. It's like they were looking through me. So I tried to push nicks arm when my hand went right through him. At this point I was aware that my body was laying meters away but I was sitting with my friends.
After realising no one could see me I walked back over to my body and watched my self. I was semi on my back semi on my side. Lloyd was coming over every few minutes to check up on me. He may not know this but I was listening and watching him as he sat next to me talking about how everything was going to be ok. I wasn't worried because I trusted him. Watching my body twitch and talk was one of the most surreal things I have ever seen. I could hear my self mumbling numbers which I'm yet to work out if they had any significance.
At one point Lloyd grabbed my hand and before I know it I was whipped back into my body where I had a moment of stillness. Up until then I wasn't really scared or nervous. I remember shifting positions till I was face down In the grass. My body started to fall through the earth like I was sky diving through the ground. I could feel my self gripping into the grass with my fingers desperately trying to ground my self. I still felt like I was falling but I could see the earth now. Looking around I could not see my body like when I was in the park. I was just a floating conscious.
It got very scary after that. I was flying at light speed but not in a normal flight path. I was being thrown around like I was being dumped by a cosmic wave that never ended and seemed to get faster. I had no control. Even though I did not have a body it was taking its toll on me. I struggled for breath in the thick atmusfear, it's like I was drowning.
This is the most scared I have ever been in my life. I have come to terms with my death so many times but nothing like this. I though I was going to die or worse I thought that I might get trapped out of my body and held under the cosmic water.
While tumbling I could see lights and stars flashing past me at impossible speeds. I was screaming out but no one would hear me.
All of a sudden I stopped with a perfect view of Mars in front of me. I could breath again and I knew some one had heard my cries. I did not feel scared any more and it was eraly quiet. I felt safe like god him self was holding me in place and stopping me from being dumped by the waves.
I felt like I was brought here for a reason like something wanted me to see this and learn from it.
From that point on I started to gain knowledge and came up with theory's that I could not of ever imagined sober.
There was this one idea I kept coming back to. It was that the world was not made out of countless numbers of atoms but instead it was made up of one atom. This atom bends and speeds through time and space to create everything in the universe. It moves billions of times faster than the speed of light. When we tear something apart at the molecular level we thing we are seeing lots of atoms it is in fact that one atom moving at incalculable speeds to make up that object. It creates everything tangible and none. Every atom in the human body is just that one. It even creates out thoughts,smell and speech. When two people talk to each other it is just that one atom making up the people and the conversation. When I was in front of Mars time slowed and Mars vanished but as if I was holding a flash light up to a disco ball in a dark room I saw flashes of its surface and realised time had slowed so much I could see the atom jump around.
Mars reappeared and I felt something was flying towards me. It was the single atom. It shot right through me and took me with it. I was rolling on the wave again but this time it was stable and clean. I then sped around as the atom and saw how fast it was jumping around to create everything. It brought me back to my body laying in the park but instead of returning to it I flew around forming every tiny little blood vessel and every little hair in my body. Then went on to make my surroundings. The movements must of been slowed down because it would be impossible for a humans eye to keep up with it.
This is really consistent with other theory's and experiences I've had on mushrooms.
Just before we left the park every one was having a group hug but I stayed watching from a far. I started to wander off but something spooked me so I sprinted into the middle of the group hug and sat down. Feeling a little over whelmed by the fact that I was just watching Mars. Every one started swaying and singing a really calming song that brought me down enough to start walking back.
I don't know how long this was in real time. We started walking back to the party when I saw this woman get out of a car. Instantly I heard a high tone buz that lasted a few seconds and numbers started coming to mind. I called it 7 trillmen for a lack of a better term. I realised it was the number of times that single atom was in the women's body. After doing some research I found out there are roughly 7000000000000000000000000000 atoms in a 70kg body. I'm not sure if that's just a crazy coincidence but it only confirmed what I was already thinking. I also looked up if trillmen ment any thing but it didn't. So I tried trill and it means "a quavering or vibratory sound". I believe the short buzzing sound was me counting the amount that atom went into the woman.
The rain storm was cool. All the thunder and lighting was crazy and I know it was Loki sending me energy from across the seas. I knew he was thinking about me and I was defiantly thinking about him. He face booked me this morning with something really important to say. No matter how I look at it I can't help but feel that that was not fake or a coincidence.
This is the most I have ever tripped and I can't help but feel there was something Devine about it all. Although I only had two mushroom caps I did some research and saw that we visuals are enhanced a lot more when in pitch black. The park was pretty close to pitch black but I had my face buried in the ground any way. Also I read somewhere that in some special cases you will see what you need to in a time of need whether you know you need it or not. I just need to think about what this experience was telling me, I believe there are very few coincidences in the universe so now it's up to me to decide what to do with this information.
I would of preferred to start at the park for the most intense part and then work my way to the party. But you can't have it all.
Tuesday 21 August 2018
Sunday 22 April 2018
Little alex
Last night was a normal night. I was at Lloyd's deciding what to do.
Apon walking to the pub we were asked by a police officer driving around if we had seen a little 10 year old autistic boy in a red shirt walking around. We hadn't seen anything so we said we would keep our eyes open.
It was at this point I posted on my Facebook asking for help also writing to a local community page asking them to post to increase awareness.
It was when we were at the pub and had seen the police had employed the use of a helicopter to find the little boy that we understood this was bigger than we thought. We downed our drinks and went to help the search party.
There were so many people out looking and helping it was truly a heart warming sight.
We grew worried when we realised there were so many fire fighters, police and ambulances for just a missing child.
Lloyd and I searched for about an hour before we tried to get some answers from the police on the station. They told us to move off and not approach which made us weary of what had happened. We asked a camera man who had his camera trained on the station if he was there for the child and all he could do was nod.
I asked has he been found and all he could say was "yes" in a solum voice.
My next question was only "was it the train." And he just gave me a bleak nod again.
He hadn't told us what had happened but it was painfully obvious from what we could infer from the information we had gathered.
This poor boy got lost at 7.15 from at the base of oatley station and was found at 9.20 on the tracks of the station.
This poor boy was scared and lost and unable to help himself for 2 hours.
For what ever reason he ended up where he ended up but unfortunately that ended his short sweet life.
It is a painful reminder that although we are quite sheltered in our little town in oatley we are capable of having tradgeties happen here.
Last night was no normal night.
Apon walking to the pub we were asked by a police officer driving around if we had seen a little 10 year old autistic boy in a red shirt walking around. We hadn't seen anything so we said we would keep our eyes open.
It was at this point I posted on my Facebook asking for help also writing to a local community page asking them to post to increase awareness.
It was when we were at the pub and had seen the police had employed the use of a helicopter to find the little boy that we understood this was bigger than we thought. We downed our drinks and went to help the search party.
There were so many people out looking and helping it was truly a heart warming sight.
We grew worried when we realised there were so many fire fighters, police and ambulances for just a missing child.
Lloyd and I searched for about an hour before we tried to get some answers from the police on the station. They told us to move off and not approach which made us weary of what had happened. We asked a camera man who had his camera trained on the station if he was there for the child and all he could do was nod.
I asked has he been found and all he could say was "yes" in a solum voice.
My next question was only "was it the train." And he just gave me a bleak nod again.
He hadn't told us what had happened but it was painfully obvious from what we could infer from the information we had gathered.
This poor boy got lost at 7.15 from at the base of oatley station and was found at 9.20 on the tracks of the station.
This poor boy was scared and lost and unable to help himself for 2 hours.
For what ever reason he ended up where he ended up but unfortunately that ended his short sweet life.
It is a painful reminder that although we are quite sheltered in our little town in oatley we are capable of having tradgeties happen here.
Last night was no normal night.
Breath
I feel like shit.
Like a ephemeral ember bound to be snuffed out.
I want to live but the world has other plans.
I suffer a lonely plight that I fear I can not fight.
I gasp for breath in a vaccum chamber. Each breath brings me closer to my last.
Dying from my own self made delirium.
The irony of this catch 22 with in sight.
Like a ephemeral ember bound to be snuffed out.
I want to live but the world has other plans.
I suffer a lonely plight that I fear I can not fight.
I gasp for breath in a vaccum chamber. Each breath brings me closer to my last.
Dying from my own self made delirium.
The irony of this catch 22 with in sight.
Lost
I don't know what I want. What to be or who to be. I don't know who I want to talk to or what to say. Nor do I want to think about the next day.
I have not goals, plans or aspirations. I'm stuck on floor 1 with 101 Dalmatians. Some times I can't breath when I think about what everyone expects of me. I just want to be me for being me and run free as happy as can be. But for now I'm lost. Utterly and hopelessly lost.
I have not goals, plans or aspirations. I'm stuck on floor 1 with 101 Dalmatians. Some times I can't breath when I think about what everyone expects of me. I just want to be me for being me and run free as happy as can be. But for now I'm lost. Utterly and hopelessly lost.
Chemical void
Why do I always feel the need for substances.
Coffee, weed and caps, alcohol and rack.
Things to wake me up and help we think. Things to make me sleep and help me shrink away from the pains of society.
I wouldn't say I'm addicted to any of them. whereas my dependence depends on the shred of a thought circling around pure energy ripped apart and reconvened around a metaphorical round table.
The predictable structure this metabolic caos provids.
Is so Sublime.
For in destruction there is creation and the more my mental fortatude get strong armed and torn down by these chemical sledge hammers, the more I bounce back better than ever.
Coffee, weed and caps, alcohol and rack.
Things to wake me up and help we think. Things to make me sleep and help me shrink away from the pains of society.
I wouldn't say I'm addicted to any of them. whereas my dependence depends on the shred of a thought circling around pure energy ripped apart and reconvened around a metaphorical round table.
The predictable structure this metabolic caos provids.
Is so Sublime.
For in destruction there is creation and the more my mental fortatude get strong armed and torn down by these chemical sledge hammers, the more I bounce back better than ever.
Eternal weightlessness
I'm lost In this eternal spacewalk. Somewhere between where I need to be and where I want to be. Dumbfounded and with a quizzical expression I dare to understand my reality. Unfortunately for this weary pshyconaut the universe and conscious thought cannot be contained within the 5th dimensional box we refer to as our brains. Perhaps one day he will grasp the tail end of the answer he is looking for but for now he will have to be content with the knowledge that definitions are only correct because people haven't proven them wrong and one day he will be the one to redefine the word impossible.
Potent
A woman is like a teabag. You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. - stranger I heard in passing
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